so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My dick has a subreddit
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
