i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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