it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
