It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
honey bunches of taint.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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