so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
