Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
