So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
