peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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