We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
