I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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