Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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