help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
