How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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