That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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