I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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