Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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