i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
