Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
