I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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