I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
