morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
