If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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