She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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