I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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