Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
