let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
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Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
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He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize