all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
