you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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