I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
