fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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