I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
