Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
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When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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