My nipple is on Facebook.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need water and some morals
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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