i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize