I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
