I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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