i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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