dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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