I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think my fart just growled at me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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