She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
