I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
MIDGETS
????
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
