it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
