CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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