i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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