margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The air was thick with penises
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
