I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
