dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
