Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
