I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
