And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
