I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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