i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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