I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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