I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize