Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
