Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
so much tequila, so little girl.