Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

So drunk its hurt

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(248): View more from Michigan

If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

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(256): View more from Alabama

He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(239): View more from Florida

I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling

(1-239): View more from Florida

You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl

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(859): View more from Kentucky

the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt

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