Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?