Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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