In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
