I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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