I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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