he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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